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The person providing the hands-on or direct care is often viewed as the only caregiver. However, there’re many other tasks that need to be addressed as families take over responsibilities that their aging loved ones can no longer take care of.

The Challenge - Families view the person providing the direct (hands-on) care as the only caregiver.

It is common that the ‘entire family unit’ doesn’t see themselves as ‘caregivers’ with multiple tasks. Usually, the attention is drawn to the family member who is willing to provide the physical care. And so… So far so good. Whether you’re providing the ‘hands-on’ care or are coordinating with other family members for the provision of care, you’re still a caregiver.

The Solution - Identify how your family will divide the responsibility for providing care.

1. Consider the different types of responsibilities involved in the entire process of caregiving.
? Anticipating & thinking ahead to what may be needed:
o Health care decisions
o Housekeeping, cooking, shopping
o Financial & legal responsibilities
? Overseeing what’s needed to ensure the care needs are being met
? Arranging for care
? Providing the hands on physical care

2. Ask your aging loved ones who they’re comfortable with to handle the different tasks. Often, they have already decided who they want to be responsible for certain tasks, example, medical decisions & legal affairs.

3. Explore what responsibility each family member is comfortable with & what task/tasks they’re willing to commit to. Many factors can enter in, distance from the older adult, other personal & family responsibilities, relationship with the older adult.

4. Set up a system of communication between all family members.
? Is there a ‘team leader’ who coordinates the communication
? Who needs to know what
? How often does each person need to be in touch
? How are differences in opinion going to be handled between the family members

5. As individual & family circumstances change, the roles & responsibilities may need to change. At some point outside resources may need to be used to support the changing care needs.

Whenever possible, keep your loved ones in the center of the decision making process. Ask for their input & recommendations. Give them as much control over the decisions as possible.

These are often hard discussions to have because family members may not want to commit to specific care giving tasks. Planning for the future is challenging because the future is an unknown.

Engage your family members in the discussion about care giving roles & tasks. Have your older loved ones identify whom they may want to do specific tasks. Family members may need time to think about what roles & tasks they’re willing to agree to. Identify the coordinator or the person who will communicate the status of things & what needs to be done. Put the plan on paper, knowing that it’s a starting point, is flexible & can be changed.

Carol McGowan RN & Cindy Streekstra RN are Caregiver Coaches & geriatric nurses who share a mission of caring for care givers as part of a family unit. Their passion for care givers has led them to create The Caregiver Cottage, a virtual place of support where they guide family care givers through the caregiving experience.

Click here for many more information on planning for elder care http://www.guidingfamilycaregiving.com

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