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For me, it is not so much having or not having money, but the options for pursuit of it that makes the difference in depression or optimism. I have been on both ends, at the bottom of the pit wondering how my husband & I would feed our kids & where we would live, to digging our way out. I was so depressed that I could not get out of bed for two years.

We both started out with, not silver spoons, but matched stainless steel ones. Right. We started off with gifts of china & silver from our parents & their friends, who taught us how to register ® at Sak’s 5th Avenue, & then grew up & lost it all. Someone else wanted it, so a court obliged them.

I am proud of how we were able to shift the course of our lives, & that our priorities focused on how to raise our children to land on their feet anywhere & be easily able to take care of themselves & their families, & to provide for ourselves in retirement, which we’re now facing.

The short answer to the question is, absolutely, especially in the society in which we select to live. It is not that we have to keep up with the Joneses or spend money just to spend it, but because we are, fundamentally, creatures of comfort. The thought of moving backwards, literally, once you have experienced being a “have” to a “have not,” to some, including me, is intolerable. I do not like being depressed, moving backwards or giving up anything I desire, so I find ways to pay for what I want. I get to be creative, think outside the box, meet new people, exercise new ideas, send up a few trial balloons & pop a few, but it keeps me out of bed for years on end.

On the other hand, the thought of winning the Powerball Lottery makes me even nutsier than not having money… I’ve a theory that people who are “paid” fortunes for their contributions, like movie stars (especially young ones), or stellar athletes, have so much of it that there is no where else to go straight to get satisfaction from anything. What is life, after all, without goals? I find Angelina Jolie refreshing, because all of her wealth can not fix the poverty & tragedy with which she surrounds herself. Those who are constantly running afoul of the law because of drugs, alcohol & other non-financial diversions, are searching for structure that goals provide.

Please donate Powerball winnings in my name if you must, keep the wolf far from my door, I will keep finding new goals after I have achieved the old ones, & if you do the same, we will not have the time or inclination to be depressed.

Now I’ve insomnia, but that is okay. I have got money on my mind, but what to do with it, not how I can get it… The wolf is away from the door, & it feels good.

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